Romans Eight, Six. "Becoming overwhelmed is not an excuse to escape my presence."

Romans Eight, Six.

I am not alone.

I was bought with blood.

The blood that was shed redeemed me.

It freed me.

Through the trials of life, there will be hurt, mistreatment, and pain.

But God is faithful.
He brings healing to the deepest of wounds and the darkest of hearts.
He does not leave. He redeems.
He strengthens. He makes the uncomfortable, comfortable and the stressed at peace.

His ways are Peace and are Love.

He has poured these things into my heart through His Spirit.
Letting sinful nature control the mind ultimately leads to death, but letting the Spirit control the mind leads to a life of peace.

Get up, oh child who has fallen, for I am with you.

Stop trying to control your life.

When you try, all you do is create a hurt that is not of me.
I do not stir up confusion. I do not cause anxiety. I do not create tension or feelings.
I am your rescue.

I do not fail.

You cannot walk away from your problems when I run to you.

Becoming overwhelmed is not an excuse to escape my presence.
I am for you, sweet child. Do you not understand?
Just wait. Wait on me and I will act. Be active in your wait.

Do not simply sit around and indulge on things that are not of Me.
Sit in my presence. Seek it each day.

Find more of me and less of you in each moment.

Search for joy as it is a hidden treasure, just waiting to be found.
I am that treasure, don’t you see?

Money is not. Winning is not.

There is joy when I am found.

Chase daylight. Where there is day, there my presence is, and where there is night, there it will be, also.

Rest, my child. The Sabbath I speak of is not an option; it is to be kept Holy.

For when there is no Sabbath, how may you ever rest and feel at peace?

I will lift my hands.

You hold mine in yours.

My heart may be torn and my spirit may feel weak, but still I will praise you.

So, I choose to trust for I am not alone in this fight.

I stand before you now for you make me brave.

Bye bye, 19.

As I finish up my last few days of teen-land, I thought I should share with you 19 things that I have learned thus far.

1. Learn to love black coffee. (It will save you money...say goodbye to $5 frapps and hello to $2 house brew).

2. Read your Bible. (As you increase your awareness of the Lord's presence, the voice of the devil decreases).

3. Invest in the lives of those who are younger than you. (Be a person you would be proud of someone looking up to).

4. Befriend married people. (Observe them, love them, and ask them tough questions).

5. Dream BIG. When I say BIG, I mean.... HUGE. Chase those dreams every single day.

6. Travel somewhere unexpected. (For me, I went to Haiti....it changed my life, made me more aware of what love is, and taught me how to appreciate the little things).

7. Chase daylight. Don't let little things slide....take in each moment and be grateful for the life you have been given.

8. Make stupid mistakes. Without mistakes, there cannot be much growth. Perfection is not a possibility, but promising to grow IS.

9. Don't idolize your Pinterest. If you're like me, you have your wedding planned, your future house decorated, how to get 6-pack abs, and hundreds of crockpot recipes just waiting to be used. Idolization of those things becomes clouding of the mind and hinders the ability to live in the NOW.

10. Be an encourager. (I don't even think I have to explain that one).

11. Bless people. Take them out to coffee, dinner, a movie, etc. You never know what a small act of love will do in the life of a person.

12. Find something you love doing and do it every single day. (For me, I love singing...it's my passion).

13. Get outside. Go for a drive. Observe the beauty of the state you live in.

14. Love the Lord so much that His joy is seen through YOU!

15. Don't ever stop learning.

16. Say "thank you" and "I love you" more than you think you should...and let your actions show these things!

17. Journal. It will be so fun to one day look back at your teenage self!

18. HAVE FUN.

19. Love the Lord. Love other people. Make an effort each day to simply show love as well as accept the love that others have to give you. 

Let it Be Jesus.

Let it Be JESUS.  

Jesus stands. Jesus shouts. His presence is the Living Water.

“Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink---even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk---it’s all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food. Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life.  I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David” (Isaiah 55:1-3, New Living Translation).

Are you hurting? Broken? Confused? Is your mind constantly bombarded with thoughts of anything but love and encouragement? Give it to Jesus. Breathe His name above every name. Through Him, it is finished. He mends the hurt, repairs the broken, clears the minds of the confused, and assures that He has created you simply because He loves YOU.

Who me? Yes, you. 

But…but…I’m a sinner, you say. Jesus says, "yeah, you are….but that’s okay…that’s why I (Jesus) came…to save YOU. See my blood? It covers everything the enemy says about you. See my blood? It allows me to choose to not remember your sins. See my blood? In it, YOU are forgiven. DO YOU SEE MY BLOOD," he shouts. Yes, says the son or daughter opening his or her eyes for the first time in full awareness of the Lord’s love. The blood is love. Jesus is love.

 “I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. My enemies retreated; they staggered and died when you appeared. For you have judged in my favor; from your throne you have judged with fairness…the enemy is FINISHED, in endless ruins…but the LORD reigns forever” (Psalms 9:2, NLT).

The Lord sees YOU and everything that you do. He sees you because He cannot stop looking or thinking about YOU. He has searched you and knows all of your heart. Do you have lies that are flocking your brain? Speak them aloud, bring them to the altar, and let them DIE. The accuser (Satan) cannot hear your thoughts…he can only hear what is spoken. Instead of letting those thoughts clog your vision, speak them out loud and tell the devil to LEAVE YOU ALONE. Ask the Lord to be your cheerleader. He will be. These lies you hear come from one of two places….maybe both. The enemy. Yourself. Personally, I struggle with telling myself lies all the time. When I begin to believe these lies is when the enemy comes in and tells me more of them. Are you in this cycle? Rid of it today. Trade those lies with truth.

I am unworthy.

NO, I AM WORTHY.

I am ugly.

NO, I AM BEAUTIFUL.

I am so dumb.

NO, I AM INTELLIGENT.

I am not going anywhere in life.

NO, I HAVE A PURPOSE.
I’ve made too many mistakes to deserve forgiveness.

NO, JESUS’ BLOOD ALREADY COVERED IT.

It’s as simple as taking out a piece of paper, writing the lies, and then rewriting them with the truth. The devil wants you to lose it, freak out, and become scared. The Lord wants you to be FREE. Which will you choose today? Let it be Jesus.

H A I T I

The Story Isn’t Over Yet.

I spent the last week in Bon Repos, Haiti caring after orphans, shoveling gravel, building picnic benches, and simply loving on God’s people. Looking back to the past week stirs up many different emotions inside of me; emotions of joy, sadness, excitement, and serenity are a few. A piece of my heart will always remain in that extra-special place. Seeing Jesus at work in the midst of the broken was more than just beautiful; it was life changing.

On Sunday morning March 16, 2014, a crew of 14 Grand Canyon University students and 2 faithful leaders arrived in Port Au Prince, Haiti. After many hours of flight, we were anxious to arrive. Once we arrived in Port Au Prince, we were greeted by Brent Fudge, a missionary who lives with his family in Haiti and serves with Back2Back Ministries. We hopped in a “tap-tap” (imagine a truck with two benches in the back mixed with the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland and that is what it feels like) and began our Haitian travels. Culture shock began to set in once we drove through the streets and noticed the women walking with baskets on their heads, children with barely any clothing on, and trash piled in every direction. It came as a shock to me because I often see images like these on the television screen, but to see them in real life was completely different and devastating. It almost seemed as if I was on a different planet, when in reality, I was only 2,640 miles from my home. What I consider to be essentials in my home were considered to be luxuries in Haiti. This in itself was shocking, but at the same time, was entirely humbling.

Upon arrival to the Guest House in Bon Repos, we were greeted by the Fudge family, as well as Jenna Ghizas and Brian Bertke from Back2Back Ministries. Once we arrived, we picked out our bunks, attempted to put up our mosquito nets, and toured the compound. After getting a tour of the property, we walked to Harvest Care Children’s Home. Here, a man by the name of Kelly, his wife, his children, and his adopted children greeted us. The children sand a “welcome song” as we entered their living room, leaving some of us in faint tears. These children were so beautiful. We took a tour of the children’s home/school where we saw the intense living conditions of a large family. One room housed 6 girls, but the room only had 4 small beds. This broke my heart into pieces. I stood there and thought about the countless times I have complained about how small my bed is and then I thought about how much joy the kids had being that they had a few beds to share. This was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. These kids radiated Jesus’ love.

After the tour, we played games and just had fun with the kids. We were each paired up with a child from the home. My little boy’s name was Alexisar (that probably is the incorrect spelling). He was the most polite and well-mannered child I have ever met. I will never forget his big brown eyes and his white shirt that had the word “hi” written all over it in blue sharpie. We had so much fun together. Seeing the joy on the faces of these children was absolutely incredible and like nothing I can even begin to attempt to explain. The rest of the day was spent playing futbol (soccer) and loving on kids. Before leaving for the day, Alexisar shook my hand, looked me straight in the eyes, and gave me a hug. That is a moment I will never forget. After we returned back to the Guest House, Nate and Lauren from JIHM (Jesus in Haiti Ministries) led us in worship and prayer. It was absolutely beautiful to sit in the backyard and just worship the God who has a heart for the orphan and who sent us on His behalf so that we may care for them.

The next day, we focused our attention on Grace Emmanuel School, run by JIHM. The second we hopped off the “tap-tap”, we were greeted by hundreds of students in uniform. There were kids hanging all over us, kissing our skin, and touching our hair. They loved taking photos with our phones and looking at themselves in the reversed camera. One little girl even asked to take a “selfie.” Yes, the word “selfie” is used even in Haiti…haha. The children at Grace Emmanuel were so joyous and full of life. Each child had a story. Some were victims of tragic events; all were of high poverty level, and some were living with other relatives and friends due to the fact that their parents were killed in the earthquake. We spent some time during this day at the top of a hill overlooking the ocean. While up on top of the hill, we prayed individually for the country of Haiti, the land and its possibilities for Jesus in Haiti Ministries and Back2Back, and that the children may find Jesus. I remember sitting at the top of that hill looking at the ocean on one side and run-down houses on the other. It was both beautiful and heartbreaking. I will never forget praying that the Lord may rise of leaders to love on the people of Haiti. It was in that moment that I committed to always remain faithful in prayer for the future of the country I was falling in love with.

“Glory is His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually! Remember the wondrous work he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered.” – Psalm 105:3-5

The next two days were spent working at Harvest Care and back at the Guest House. One team went to Harvest Care while the other worked at the Guest House. On the first out of two days, my team went to Harvest Care (The other group spent the day setting up an aboveground pool and beautifying the backyard). Our goal for the day was to dig out a large pipe in the ground and to make each kid smile. At first, digging a pipe out of the ground seemed tedious and time-consuming, but then we were told the purpose of the hard work. At that time, Harvest Care did not have a working toilet. The kids went to the restroom behind a tarp that was tied between two stumps in the ground. The thought of this made me sick inside. Knowing that and seeing it made us work harder and more efficiently. Looking back now, I realize that God gave us the physical abilities to uncover that pipe and it will now have a lasting-effect on those children because they will eventually have a toilet that works! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! After a morning of tough work, we spent the remainder of the day having fun and playing games with the kids. I LOVED seeing the faces of those kids and watching their facial expressions when they were so excited about playing with beach balls and jump ropes. Thinking back to that time just makes me smile. I will never forget those little faces.

The next day, my group focused our attention on landscaping the backyard of the Guest House. We spent our day raking gravel and moving rocks from place to place. By the end of the day, the yard looked beautiful. It was amazing to think that our hard work will bless the groups that will follow after us and will allow the Fudge family to have a relaxing space to enjoy. One of my favorite parts of the day was when 5 water tracks showed up and filled the aboveground pool. This pool was used later in the week to allow the kids in the orphanage to swim in. After we ourselves took a dip in the pool, we got ready to go to the Lighthouse. Tom, the director and founder of the Lighthouse, took some time after dinner to tell us his story. Originally, Tom had never wanted to travel to Haiti, but he worked for a missions’ organization that forced him to go. Little did he know that that was the Lord at work in his life. Within a few days, God told him that Haiti is where he was to spend the rest of his life. God called him to Haiti, and he listened. He has raised over 30 kids that he has taken in as his own boys. Many of the boys have families of their own now or are in college. Most every child was a victim of a tragic event that Tom rescued. Tom was the beginning of Jesus in Haiti Ministries. He started Grace Emmanuel School and the Lighthouse, where we spent a large portion of our time. Hearing Tom’s story about answering the Lord’s call really affected me and challenged my walk with Christ. I want to be BOLD.

On our last day before departure, the kids from Harvest Care came over to the Guest House and went swimming. It was the MOST FUN we had all week! We loved seeing those smiling faces. It is something I will never forget. I will always remember sitting in a chair with a little boy on my lap all bundled up in a towel because the water was too cold. I could have sat there for hours and just loved on him. Honestly, I was looking up plane ticket prices to take him back home with me. It was in that very moment that God said, “You are exactly where I called you to be.”

Leaving Haiti was one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. When you grow to love someone or a group of people so much and all of a sudden you have to say “goodbye”, it is devastating. Since leaving Haiti, I have had a little bit of time to reflect and pray about my experiences. God changed my heart. He humbled it, mended it, and instilled it with more love than it has ever had before. Those little kids have been permanently implanted into my brain. I still hear their little voices in my head shouting “merci”! I could go on and on for days about how much I love those kids and how much I miss them. Jesus has an extra-special plan for each one of the kids we were able to come in contact with. He has made them more beautiful than anyone could ever imagine. I look at pictures of the kids now and instead of seeing trauma, I see joy. I see gladness. I see happiness. I am so thankful I serve such a huge God who loves the orphan and who has given me a heart that loves orphans, as well. This trip was just the beginning for me. Haiti will always have my heart and I cannot wait to return in the near future to see the growth since we left. Jesus brought hope to the hopeless. Jesus sent me out of the country to realize His power and to gain a larger understanding of who He is. I am so very very thankful. The story isn’t over yet.

If you have any questions, please let me know! Believe it or not, this is a summarized version of my mission experience. Continue to join me in prayer for Haiti, Back2Back Ministries, the Fudge family, Harvest Care, the Lighthouse and JIHM.

Trust seems crazy.

Trust seems crazy sometimes.

Today, I am sitting down and am thinking of the little details I must complete before boarding three planes to Haiti. I leave in 15 days. 15 days. As I sit and think about my online class finishing in two days, the amount of assignments I must complete, the shots I need to get, the forms I need to fill out, the little things I need to buy, how to pack a small suitcase, how to spend each day in prayer to prepare my heart for this country, I am becoming overwhelmed. This morning the Lord sat me down and just told me to trust.

What does it mean to trust? To fully trust in God?

To trust is to believe that something is good. God asks us each to do crazy things each day. Now, we think they are crazy….God does not see them that way. He asks us to chase daylight and notice the blessings of each day. He also asks us to pray.

I feel like there has been so much craziness lately. For example, I read social media and notice the hurt going on in the world…controversy over governmental bills, babies who are being born without parts of their lungs and are laying in a hospital hooked up to wires to keep them living, riots happening in Ukraine, people searching for an answer to life’s most difficult questions. In these times, I find myself trusting in the Lord with everything. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times I find myself doubting His power…and then, He does something completely beyond what I can ever possibly imagine. HE HEALS, HE RESOLVES, HE RESTORES, HE LOVES.

And so, I sit this morning in awe of His power yet again for calming my nerves. To be 100% honest with you, I am scared out of my mind to go to Haiti. Yes, I am so very excited, but yet, I am so very scared. How is God going to use me there? Am I going to stay safe? Am I really going to have any impact on the lives of these Haitian people?  Jesus said, “Chill out, my daughter, I am holding your hand each step of the way. You were born to make an impact and for your faithfulness, I am going to bless you.” Crazy right? Maybe it’s not actually so crazy, and more of a testament of trust.

I do not really have the answer to my own question about how to fully trust in God. I think this journey to Haiti has given me a taste of what it means to fully trust, but I do not think I am fully understanding of it yet. I think I learn more and more each day…so maybe by the time I look Jesus face-to-face, I will know what full trust means!

I want to take a second and just simply ask your prayers for these next few weeks. God is my ultimate strength, but I also need an army of prayer warriors praying for my team and I. Pray for our safety, pray for our trust, and pray that we make Jesus famous to the people who so desperately need Him.

Exodus 15:2 reads, “The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.”

LOVE. What is it?

L O V E.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.  If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” -1 John 3:16

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God and also to those of you who are hesitant of His power. Love came down and rescued me and Love came down and rescued you.  You may believe it, you may not…but I hope this blesses you in some way, shape, or form.

In 2012, the most researched question on Google was, “What is love?” While looking for information on this topic, I came across hundreds of definitions for what love truly is. According to Scripture, love is “purposeful commitment to sacrificial action for another.” I began to ponder that definition…Let’s break it down.

Love is from God.
Love was sinless, yet came to save the sins of people.
Love was in the beginning and yet Love dwells within through the Spirit.
If we call upon God’s right hand, there Love will be.
Love is my Savior.

Love is Jesus.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 reads:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Love is patient. It is able to tolerate pain or trials without becoming anxious.

Love is kind. Think about words. The Book of James discusses the power of the tongue and how words can tear someone up as well as tear someone apart. James 3:10-12 reads, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” Kindness is supposed to be gentle, not guttural.

Love does not envy. In other words, love is not jealous. It does not desire to attain an attribute that belongs to someone else. (Personally, I struggle with this one… I need to stop focusing on the strengths of others and start focusing on the God-given strengths He has given me). You were not created to be jealous. Satan takes delight in jealousy, whereas God takes delight in love.

Love does not boast and is not proud. It builds up others, rather than praises your own personal accomplishments. (Now don’t get me wrong, I struggle with this one, too. Sometimes I find that I am so excited about something that I want to “flaunt” it to the world…but truth is, glorification of myself does not build up others). Love sees other people and wishes to encourage. My question is, why self-glorify, if you can glorify your creator with true, unwavering love?

Love does not dishonor others. Think about people for a second (okay, maybe a few minutes). What is so special about them? It could be the fact that each person is unique and handcrafted by the creator of the world; it could be the fact that each person has special giftings given to him or her so they may bless people, or maybe it is both? Truth is, why would we dishonor others if they were fearfully and wonderfully made? Why would we dishonor others if they were different? When you think about it, everyone is different...but we all have one thing in common; the ability to love. Let all that we do serve the Lord. Honoring others is a way we can do this.

Love is not self-seeking.  It seeks after the heart of someone else. The opposite of love is selfishness. Love seeks to serve, while selfishness seeks to gain.

Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. It does not result in hostility. It is constantly walking in faithfulness, overcoming the trials of the world with patience and gentleness. Love in itself does not hold a grudge against someone, but forgives. Think about Jesus… sinless human, born to die to make a way for humanity so that we may live in freedom. If Jesus can forgive us, can’t we forgive others? Be humble, not hostile.

Love does not delight in evil.  Think about that person that annoys you. (As sad as it is, you probably thought of that person pretty fast). Now think about why that person annoys you. Do you ever wish misfortune to come upon that person? Do you think that sometimes that person deserves to not be loved? (Trust me, this happens to me more times than I would like to confess…but guess what, love does not delight in this.) Satan delights in evil. WHY WOULD I WANT TO RESEMBLE SATAN IN ANY WAY? Reality check, Jesus delights in love. He seeks to draw people to His heart. It brings Him joy when we call upon His name and tell Him our heart’s desires. Let us take delight in the Lord and not in the desires of the devil.

   Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.                 

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

I challenge you to think: How can you love? Okay, now go do it.